Δευτέρα, 9 Μαΐου 2011

The Drowing

Yeap. And that very moment you know you really screwed up. Somehow it feels like it's not like before. You definitely screwed up. And as you keep reading in front of your screen, you can tell that.. there are no words. Let's put it in another way.

It's the fear, the stress, the completely empty feeling, the unknown, your damn poison that always destroys you -which by the way it's your damn fucking self. It's all these followed by a river coming unexpectedly out of your eyes and then flooding your face without possibly seeing anything. Wow, dude, it's so difficult indeed. In other words, it kills you without of course asking you first -then it would be meaningless, you know you deserve all these things. Of course it's fair, I couldn't argue about that. But it's so unsuitable for now, you know. Don't tell me that it's over. It's only just began.

I was saying that it's killing you. Yeah, good point. You try to raise your hand and clear your ugly face, but you get no response. You cannot see it, you feel it standing still and kind of numb. That's the right word. Numb. As a result, you wait until you can almost see and finally you do. And keep reading, and reading and reading, oh god somebody has to stop this. This isn't happening.

But it is. You knew it would. So what were you thinking exactly? You never stop until someone stops you. And now that they did, you know you are the responsible. And the stupid. Too late? No, no, wait a minute. You tremble. It's like someone is taking out the half of your body and actually, you are still alive. Extracting your bones, cutting your skin. You are begging, and begging, and begging, oh how pathetic you are. Now that everything seemed to be settled and you were finally feeling so happy... You both felt that way.

But I forgot, you always destroy things. It's so you. YOU create your own drama. You take everything for granted. When you realize it, it's just for a moment. You never change, how stupid of you to think of such a thing! You are selfish. Your poison is much stronger than your love. Your "self" is much stronger. You are self-destructive. But it's the love that comes out now.

You put your hands around your legs, staying there empty for hours,
crying
and shouting
and crying
and feeling the pain, 
the drowing
and crying
and dying.

The fear of losing probably the most important person in your life.
I love you 'till the end. This is not the end however.
I am sorry. But now, I must sleep.





Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.

3 σχόλια:

  1. I can feel this. It comes and visits me. Drowing is a friend of mine... It's all in our head you know. And it is so destructive... WE.NEED.TO.MOVE.ON!

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  2. Σου ειπα ηδη καποιες διορθώσεις... τώρα...
    Ωραίο κείμενο αν και στην αρχη δεν καταλαβα ακριβως what's all this about... αλλα στο τελος το ξεκαθαριζεις και βγαζει νοημα ολοκληρο το κειμενο ετσι.
    Καλη δουλεια. Προσπάθησε να κάνεις μπολικο edit πριν ανεβασεις ενα κειμενο next time.

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