Τρίτη, 29 Μαΐου 2012

29 I will forget, 29 I will start all over again

So.. in the end:
-Cap ou pas cap?
-Pas cap.

It's okay. Now, you know. You just have to face it. And stop crying every fucking day with every fucking thought that comes into your mind and reminds you of the last two years. Face it. You are not together, and you will never be again. I've had enough of damn hopes. Shit happens, people change. Just live with him as much as you can, share moments and feelings as always, and love each other. You'll survive. Shh, it's okay, it's okay. You will survive. He is in love with you, he love you, he spends much time on you every day. He will always care about you. That's all that matters.  I mean.. Nothing really changed. 
Shh, it's okay, don't cry. It's okay. Everything will be alright.
Shh, he's here. Right next to you. Don't cry.

This time.. Last year. Before two years. Everything was so different..
Happy anniversary. 


I love you. I'll wait for you. Come back. Come back to me.



Τρίτη, 1 Μαΐου 2012

|_|__|___| __ ___ ___________

"It's like you're screaming. But no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. But when it's over and it's gone, you almost wished that you could have all that bad stuff back, so that you could have the good."

But I just cannot stop thinking. I miss the fact that everyone could see and knew how perfect we were together. Like when a stranger stopped us while walking and begged us to be happy. I miss the moment when you were proud of me, when you said I meant the whole world for you and when you still showed that you care about me. I miss that fucking perfect cute smile, smile that belongs only to me, I miss the old you. I miss our dates, walking in different places at times. I miss the perfect moment when I felt that I wan't for granted and neither were you. The days when I knew I was happy and my life was complete. I wanted nothing more. I miss that Thursday night when you said you loved me while we were still together, that last time. Because now I don't know what to believe anymore. I miss you, I miss us. But my time is running out. Call me a doctor.

I need to meet with someone from the past. Someone who knew me to remind me what I was. 'Cause I lost myself, I'm losing everything and I'm becoming something I hate in order not to lose something very important in my life, or better else to save what's left to be saved.. I can't stop it. I stopped reading books, I stopped dancing, I can't write a normal post, I cry very often. It sucks. Too fragile, too not me. I lost my strength. I can't make a fucking decision. I'm afraid that I'm gonna kill my last hope. He won't come back. And I'm still here. 

Time to say I admire a girl from my class, who is in some way in my shoes. She said something within two weeks that I haven't the last six months. And I still don't. It's hard, but it's a step. A step to move forward.