"It's like you're screaming. But no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. But when it's over and it's gone, you almost wished that you could have all that bad stuff back, so that you could have the good."
But I just cannot stop thinking. I miss the fact that everyone could see and knew how perfect we were together. Like when a stranger stopped us while walking and begged us to be happy. I miss the moment when you were proud of me, when you said I meant the whole world for you and when you still showed that you care about me. I miss that fucking perfect cute smile, smile that belongs only to me, I miss the old you. I miss our dates, walking in different places at times. I miss the perfect moment when I felt that I wan't for granted and neither were you. The days when I knew I was happy and my life was complete. I wanted nothing more. I miss that Thursday night when you said you loved me while we were still together, that last time. Because now I don't know what to believe anymore. I miss you, I miss us. But my time is running out. Call me a doctor.
I need to meet with someone from the past. Someone who knew me to remind me what I was. 'Cause I lost myself, I'm losing everything and I'm becoming something I hate in order not to lose something very important in my life, or better else to save what's left to be saved.. I can't stop it. I stopped reading books, I stopped dancing, I can't write a normal post, I cry very often. It sucks. Too fragile, too not me. I lost my strength. I can't make a fucking decision. I'm afraid that I'm gonna kill my last hope. He won't come back. And I'm still here.
Time to say I admire a girl from my class, who is in some way in my shoes. She said something within two weeks that I haven't the last six months. And I still don't. It's hard, but it's a step. A step to move forward.